Order in the court! Do you have drama within your Court of Honor? Are your family and friends not following your expectations? Well, check yourself against Ally’s advice on how to clearly communicate to your Court what you desire from them to make your quince run smoothly.
How far out should you start organizing your Court of Honor? Can this help alleviate stress?
“Asking for chambelans and damas to be in your quince should be done five months before your quinceañera and automatically prepare for a “yes” because they are excited you asked, but hold on mija, that “yes” can turn into a “no” because they need to ask their parents.”
History shows most quince Courts start dropping out before practices even begin, and they continue to drop out during practices because you’re asking them for time and money! Time is for the parents to physically drive them to every practice, and money because you’re asking them to spend money on an entire outfit, including shoes.”
To avoid drama, stress and your court dropping out, try this instead:
- Five months in advance, write a letter to the parents thanking them for their consideration and asking for their approval for whether their child can stand in your Quinceanera.
- Along with your letter, include a schedule of everything their child will attend, such as practice dates and times. This information is important for making their decision because most kids in this age range play sports or families have vacations planned.
- Also include the outfit selection, where they can buy it and the cost. Be up front as much as possible! Giving the parents everything up front will make your life stress free. Trust me! The parent is the one ultimately making the decision – you need them to say yes.”
You suggest asking family members to be in your court first. Why do you think this is an important rule of thumb to go by, and are there any scenarios when it is best to go with friends first?
“Family is a gamechanger, friends are placeholders. Family first — it’s a tradition started before I was born. Family will always be family and therefore family should be asked first to be a part of your quince Court.
For a chambelan, you should ask your family first especially a cousin or a brother. I say this because most girls pick a boyfriend, and as we know boyfriends aren’t permanent, but family is! When you look back at your quince pictures when you turn 18, I’m pretty sure you don’t want to see an EX-boyfriend standing next to you. Again, family is a gamechanger.
It’s okay to ask friends, so please don’t get me wrong. Friends need to be invited into your Court as well. Pick the friend who is loyal to you; someone who will always have your best interest at heart, who doesn’t spread rumors behind your back, and someone you know can possibly be bridesmaid in the future. If you have doubt on anyone being in your court, then don’t ask them to be in your court. This is the easiest way to get ahead of any potential drama.”
What guidelines do you recommend when outlining your expectations for your chambelan?
“Expectations for a chambelan is to be present! Be present and be with her. Your job as a chambelan doesn’t mean you’re on her arm the whole night; it does mean standing beside her with a smile on your face, pulling out her chair, holding a door, assisting her with her train, dancing with her, and attending all the dance practices.
Guidelines before the quince date I would outline include having your parents’ permission. That’s the most important. Secondly, get a haircut the day before her quince. Boys, some of you need to make sure your parents know that you need to look fresh and have a fresh haircut.”
What ways can a court go awry because of drama?
“Chambelans are always the first ones to drop out of a quince. The reason for this is because you, the quinceañera, were not prepared when asking him to be in your Court. You forgot to give him practice dates, costs for his outfit, etc.
Let’s start with the most obvious: boys often drop out more than girls. The first reason is the group text. Everyone does this! The girl having the quince starts a group text with all the boys and girls together. This group text can cause so much drama!
Remember boys and girls, your friend having a quinceañera might be bossy because you missed practice, or you didn’t order your dress or suit on time. Therefore, drama starts. Also remember, you are all TEENAGERS on a group text.
I’m not a fan of group texts because things can be misconstrued or misread in a group text. Here’s my solution to that, instead of a group text with all your Court, have your mom create a group text with the Court’s parents.
Parents are the ones paying for the outfits, haircuts, the gas to drop you off at every practice and more. Therefore, my solution is to have a parent group text. This will take stress off Mis Quince Anos, and you have a higher chance of chambelans not dropping out because of drama.
Boredom – it’s very real! Courts start to fall apart when they get bored. For example, learning the surprise dance is boring, and your dance teacher teaches slow. Your Court can grow bored because they are not learning anything new, so guess what? They’re now bored, and it’s not fun anymore. My advice is to hire a teacher to teach the dances, who is quick, fun and makes it exciting for them to keep coming to practice.
Season\timing is a factor. You ask them to stand in your quince and then 1-3 months later, they drop out because of football practice, soccer, basketball, etc. This happens because, again, you didn’t prepare them.
Remember, first ask them to stand in your quince and give them a letter with all the dates of practices, costs, etc. Then wait for their parents’ approval. Being prepared will help you. Some will say no because of other commitments, while others will say my parents said I can be involved.”
How can the Mis Quince Años being overeager cause her Court frustrations?
“YUP! I’m going to speak from a choreographer standpoint on this. The average quinceañera has two dances performed with her Court, but Mis Overeager Quince want’s five dances. I don’t mean a medley with five songs combined; I’m talking about five individual songs with a dance to each one. That’s being overeager, mija.
Now there’s nothing wrong with being overeager, however, a quince typically only has two dances — one slow waltz and then later a surprise dance with her Court. At the end of the day, it’s your show and you can do what you want, but in this area I’m an advisor, and I’m going to give you advice. You don’t have to take it, but our Court will begin to drop out if you put too much responsibility on them.
Keep it safe and only pick two dances. It’s what they think they signed up for, but when you hit them with more than the normal, it becomes a job, and the fun goes away.
Another Mis Overeager Quince is asking your Court to buy expensive products/designer. Yes, I’ve seen this done, and guess what happened? You know the answer. One by one her Court started dropping out.”
Leave A Comment